Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run?

Just a number

Age : a number, a measure of time spent, a measure of time left, etc., nothing you didn’t already know, and if you think of it, nothing that should bother you more today than it did yesterday.

Just a number.

“Sometimes the whole is greater than the sum of its parts,” says the cheesily positive corporate trainer, talking about passion or synergy or the latest in testing-hardware or something equally generic. “F*** you,” i say; i hate positivity and i hate people telling me how to lead my life. I like telling people how they should lead their lives. I should be a trainer.

But i digress.

This trainer might have been onto something. Misguided probably, but definitely onto something. The older i get, the more often i think about one day having to turn back and take stock of all i’ve done. And this is the deal : i want to be able to look at the years and say that the result has indeed been greater than just a simple sum of the years spent on the way.

The older i get, the more cynical i get, the less sure i am of this happening and that worries me.


Somewhere along the way life turns into a series of numbers for most of us. Ages at which we got our degrees, number of degrees, seniority grades at work, last year’s salary increment, the year before last year’s h-index.

Just numbers. Like co-ordinates to pin us down on a giant multidimensional space representing life and where we stand w.r.t. the rest of the world on it.

“Oh look, there’s the ne’er-do-well last-bencher from school and oh look, there’s the vice-president for body-on-frame platforms.”

People. Just numbers.


Only problem : they aren’t. No matter how hard you kid yourself.

People. Not numbers. Not most of the time.


3 responses

  1. Mukta

    Your posts always make me smile. They have such a distinct dash of cynicism and, I don’t know…, a pungent punch perhaps…? Are you really this cynical? Life must be differently interesting from that perspective. Perhaps a lot more amusing? But I do look forward to reading your stuff. You should write more. Honest writing is rather rare in today’s times, where everybody is irritatingly proper and correct and sweet!

    October 6, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    • “Distinct dash”, “pungent punch” : Someone’s feeling very alliterative?! Sorry, couldn’t resist that one!
      More seriously, no, not that cynical always; Libran mood-swings; just a far better writer on my off-days!
      Glad to be a purveyor of smiles though; i don’t hear that very often!

      October 9, 2013 at 12:07 am

      • Mukta

        Hehe! You noticed the alliteration. It wasn’t deliberate and though rather cheesy sounding, I could not resist letting the words be 😀 And I like the sound of “Purveyor of Smiles”. How perfect as the title to some new-age author’s suddenly famous book! 😛

        October 9, 2013 at 3:37 am

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